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Showing posts with label shame-bound. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shame-bound. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I Hate Myself?

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More Info: www.addictions.net

Why do I hate myself?

Do you catch yourself thinking, "I hate myself"? We hate ourselves for various reasons. Sometimes it is because we say the wrong things at the wrong time. Sometimes we hate ourselves for not living up to our own or another's expectations. The fact is that sooner or later most of us in our lifetime are going to utter the word's "I hate myself." The words "I hate myself" by themselves hold no power over us, but the problem starts when you begin to believe the words. Let's look at some of the reasons why you may come to hate yourself and how to deal with the problems.

  • Rejection - We all must face rejection in our lives. Rejection from members of the opposite sex, rejection over a promotion at work, rejection at a life that does not measure up to the big plans we once had. Rejection will come, but we must not let it consume us. I have learned in the past that when rejection comes, it is not the end of the world. Sure, there are times I am depressed for a little while and there is a lot of self-examination, but over time I learned that rejection is not the end, but the beginning of something else.
  • Love and Acceptance - It is human nature to want to feel the love and acceptance of others, but when it doesn't happen in our timetable, we often turn to ourselves as the source of our failure. When someone does not accept or show love to you, don't hate yourself for it. Rather, take time to consider the situation surrounding why you were not accepted or loved. In the end, you will realize (like I did) that not everyone is going to accept you and love you. If you stay true to who you are, sooner or later you will find the love and acceptance you are looking for.
  • Hitting Bottom - Have you ever felt like you've hit bottom? I'm talking about those times when you say, "If I only had one break, I know I could get out of this situation I am in." I know I have had quite a few times like that in my life and it is not a nice feeling. Many times when we are at rock bottom we get depressed. Our depression can lead to self-pity and self-pity can cause us to say, "I hate myself" for not being able to get out of this.

    Most of the time when we hit rock bottom it is by circumstances of our own making. In our minds, we feel that since we are the one who caused the problem we should be the ones to get ourself out of the problem. When things continue to spiral downward, we start to play the blame game which always leads to wrong conclusions about ourselves. In the end, we start to hate ourselves for allowing things to get this bad. When you hit bottom, don't hate yourself. Swallow your pride and seek help elsewhere.
  • I Make Mistakes - We all make mistakes. I know, I make my share of mistakes everyday. I have found that people are more prone to point out your mistakes than they are to praise you for what you are doing right. If you are not careful, you may start to think that your life is a mistake, which can lead to feelings of hatred towards yourself and others.

    I know my strengths and weakness and I am going to make more mistakes, but I can't let the mistakes get to me. I know it sounds simple and it will take work, but when you make a mistake, learn from it and move on.
Why do I hate myself? - There could be any number of reasons. The reasons I listed above are ones I have personally dealt with in the past. There were times I hated who I was and wanted to change myself so I could be like everyone else.

Then one day I realized that I am not like everyone else. I am me, so I set out to be me and I soon found that I no longer hated myself. I did not take the things that happened to me so personally anymore. I do not know if it will work for you, but isn't it worth a shot? 


More Info: www.addictions.net

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Being the Scapegoat

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Scapegoating is a serious family dysfunctional problem with one member of the family or a social group being blamed for small things, picked on and constantly put down. In scapegoating, one of the authority figures has made a decision that somebody in the family has to be the bad guy. The mother or father makes one child bad and then looks for things (sometimes real, but most often imagined) that are wrong.

There are different reasons one child is singled out to be scapegoated. Perhaps the child is vulnerable. Or the child is hyperactive, noncompliant or acts out. Sometimes the scapegoated child is viewed as weak who cannot defend himself. At times the parent heaps on the blame because he cannot stand the child who has traits and characteristics that are similar to his own! Sometimes the child has personality traits that are similar to a disliked relative (She reminds me of my aunt Tillie who I never liked.) Other children in the family can pick up the scapegoating pattern and join in taunting and hurting the scapegoated child. In extremely dysfunctional families, the parent may goad the other children to pick on the disfavored one.
Sometimes one child is favored and given special status by the parent. This child can do no wrong according to the parent when they are growing up, but being the favorite backfires on them. Children who are favored often develop their own form of pathology in that they grow up feeling special and entitled. One woman said, “For years I resented my sister who my moved adored. I wished I had been special to my mother. Now I see how messed up my sister is and I’m glad I was not the chosen one of a very sick mother.”
All members of the family are affected. Children who are scapegoated often feel insecure and develop a victim mentality. They learn that they are at the bottom of the pecking order in the family and often automatically gravitate to that role at school or at work. This dynamic of making one child “good” and another child “bad” in the family is a vicious generational theme learned and passed down from parents to children.
Often an insecure parent will be aggressive with one of the children to vent his own sense of frustration at not doing well in life. Aggression in families creates decrease in self-esteem in the children. Aggression, the use of force against another human being, is always present in scapegoating. As Elizabeth A. Kaspar says, “The aggressive person is one who tries to dominate others. Aggressiveness, too, can take several forms. The aggressive person is frequently rude and humiliating, (e.g., “What do you mean, you aren’t going to do it?”), or the aggressive person can become self-righteous (e.g., “I am only insisting on this for your own good.”), or she/he can resort to being manipulative (e.g., “If you refuse, what will everyone think of you?”).”
Bullying is always scapegoating. Abuse is always scapegoating.
It seems as if we humans as a species seem to need someone to vent our anger on and make wrong. Scapegoating is a projection defense. It is the ego saying “If I can put the blame on you, I don’t have to recognize and take responsibility for the negative qualities in myself. What I can’t stand about myself, I really hate in you and have to attack you for it in order to deny that I have the same quality.”
Scapegoating is a huge social problem contributing to the hate that exists in the world. There is scapegoating of whole groups of people happens when there is prejudice or stereotyping. Unfortunately, in a larger sense, some Jewish people or other ethnic groups and minorities have been scapegoated by the lower conscious members of their culture.
Surprisingly there is not much research on scapegoating for all the damage that is does to families and to society. Here are some ideas from The Scapegoat Society, Forest Row, East Sussex, RH18 5JF, England. www.scapegoat.demon.co.uk
“Scapegoating is a hostile social - psychological discrediting routine by which people move blame and responsibility away from themselves and towards a target person or group. It is also a practice by which angry feelings and feelings of hostility may be projected, via inappropriate accusation, towards others. The target feels wrongly persecuted and receives misplaced vilification, blame and criticism; he is likely to suffer rejection from those who the perpetrator seeks to influence. Scapegoating has a wide range of focus: from "approved" enemies of very large groups of people down to the scapegoating of individuals by other individuals. Distortion is always a feature….
In scapegoating, feelings of guilt, aggression, blame and suffering are transferred away from a person or group so as to fulfill an unconscious drive to resolve or avoid such bad feelings. This is done by the displacement of responsibility and blame to another who serves as a target for blame both for the scapegoater and his supporters. The scapegoating process can be understood as an example of the Drama Triangle concept [Karpman, 1968].
The perpetrator's drive to displace and transfer responsibility away from himself may not be experienced with full consciousness - self-deception is often a feature. The target's knowledge that he is being scapegoated builds slowly and follows events. The scapegoater's target experiences exclusion, ostracism or even expulsion.
In so far as the process is unconscious it is more likely to be denied by the perpetrator. In such cases, any bad feelings - such as the perpetrator's own shame and guilt - are also likely to be denied. Scapegoating frees the perpetrator from some self-dissatisfaction and provides some narcissistic gratification to him. It enables the self-righteous discharge of aggression. Scapegoaters tend to have extra-punitive characteristics [Kraupl-Taylor, 1953]. ….On another view, scapegoaters are insecure people driven to raise their own status by lowering the status of their target …”
What Should You Do if You Are or Were Mean to One of your Children?
Understand the dynamics and deal with your anger. Examine family patterns of favoritism and placing the blame on one child. Do a web search on The Drama Triangle. Take responsibility for your actions. Apologize to the mistreated child (even if they are an adult now) and stop playing favorites. Get into therapy and learn to live with yourself and family members in more productive ways.
What Should You Do if You Notice Someone Being Scapegoated?
If you know a child who suffers from scapegoating, show him or her some extra attention and be reassuring that the rest of the world does not see him as “bad.” Stand up and speak out against injustice when you can saying, “Hey that’s not fair. Leave him/her alone.” Get other family members to join you in insisting on fairness—there is strength in numbers. Break the destructive silence--when necessary, report abuse to the authorities. Become a mentor and act as a positive role model so that he can learn to see himself as a valuable person in his own right. Some children from dysfunctional families seek out more positive people to learn from. Do not let him accept the identity of being a bad person simply because a family member was a dysfunctional bully.
What Should You Do if You Were Mistreated?
If you recognize that certain people in your family or workplace always take the brunt of what is going, it is probably scapegoating. If this is your dynamic, you can learn what you do to perpetuate unconsciously to keep yourself a victim. Do whatever it takes to change this role of being blamed. If you were designated the black sheep of the family, then studying this dynamic is the way to release yourself from its poison. Learn to recognize the negative family patterns of blame and shame and vow to stop doing them in this generation!
Stop trying to win the favor of a parent who did not like you when you were growing up. A parent who rejects their child has some severe personality disturbance and is not likely to change. The best you can do is understand the underlying dynamic of your parent and try to come to peace with this on your own. Don’t expect your parent to “own” up to their mistreatment. Most likely, they will only deny and blame you again for being ungrateful. Some children who were scapegoated have as little to do with the abusive parent as they can when they grow up. Refusing to remain in an abusive situation is a healthy choice.
Do some reading to explore how scapegoating may have affected not only your own personality, but also others in your family. Do a web search on assertive behavior to learn to challenge others putting you down. Take an assertive class and learn to set boundaries to other’s inappropriate behavior.
Here is a bill or rights from an anonymous source for the meek and mild who have grown up allowing others to be mean to them:
I AM MY OWN AUTHORITY
Anonymous
I must give myself the right to be me – to function as I see fit. It is impossible to have a sound self-concept until I am true to myself and accept full responsibility for my own individual life, my own need fulfillment. At any instant I can start a new life.
I ALLOW MYSELF THE FREEDOM – I DEMAND OF MYSELF THE RIGHT:
To recognize myself as the most important and interesting person in the world – a unique and precious part of life.
To feel warm and happy, kind and living toward myself.
To realize that at my divine center I am no better or worse, or more or less important, than anyone else in the entire world.
To be different, to make mistakes, to be “wrong,” to be inadequate.
To take the time and effort to fulfill my own needs.
To be happy and free – to be harmonious and effective – to succeed.
To be open and kind, loving and lovable – compassionate and helpful.
To be keenly sensitive and aware – radiantly healthy and energetic.
To do less than perfect – to be inefficient, to procrastinate, to “goof off,” to kill time.
To perceive myself as an absolute “nothing” – unworthy and unneeded.
To have “unacceptable” thoughts, images, desire and experiences.
To allow others to make mistakes, to be “wrong” – to be ignorant, to be “screwed-up.”
To act spontaneously, to resist, to change my mind, to be stubborn.
To be emotional – to love, to cry, to be angry, to be selfish and uncaring.
To drop all masks and images – to not fulfill other’s expectations and images of me.
To be criticized condemned, disapproved, disliked and unwanted.
To fail and to learn from it.
To be loyal, courageous, and exceptional – in both my person and my work.
To accept my own authority – to follow my own “knowing.”
I allow myself complete freedom and I recognize that I am inescapably responsible for all my decisions and actions. For I must inevitably pay the price incurred. I profit or suffer, learn and grow according to the “nature and consequences” of my act. I realize that “good and evil,” right and wrong,” are but intellectual concepts, for there is only wisdom and unwisdom, only wise and unwise acts.
Therefore, prior to serious decisions I ask myself, “Is this act wise? (i.e., will it injure myself or others – will it contribute to my basic needs – is it in alignment with the laws and forces of life?) What is the total price involved? Can I afford to pay it? And,am I willing to accept the consequences?”
I know that in the final analysis I need answer only to myself and that I have all the time there is for my total unfoldment – that at worst I can only postpone my ultimate reunion with the Infinite. However, wisdom and love, freedom and joy beckon me onward and I choose to proceed as rapidly as my prevailing perception and wisdom allow.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Pair - Compulsive Lying Personality & Shame

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Do you see what direction I might be taking now?  Of course - those of you that struggle with the idea of someone compulsively lying for no apparent reason perhaps you can get a better understanding of the 'whys'.  Shame.


NOTE:  Of course this does not apply to the pure sociopath at all.  They operate within their world's w/o any emotional attachment to people other than themselves.  They purely operate for their own purpose/good/goals - which often include gaining pleasure from other's pain.

Perhaps if you would take what I am saying about all this 'shame' stuff - maybe even give me the benefit of the doubt that I might really know what I am talking about within this realm...You can then start understanding why someone might have begun lying and just never stopped...But to do that I would encourage you to review the information I have offered you on both Shame and Dishonesty & you can begin putting the puzzle together for yourself. 

People who tend to lie - tend to try and diminish any trouble they might get into as well as often try desperately to build their own selves up when they come into contact with others.  Being in the presence of others often tends to make the 'liar' feel inadequate, not good-enough, or somehow not valid as a human being.  So they build a world of their own in which they can somehow feel on par with others.  These feelings of inadequacy begin in childhood and can go undetected by others throughout a life-span.  However the 'liar' feels the deep pain of inadequacy to their core and tries to modulate it in order to function.  The whole experience is extremely demeaning perpetrating the dysfunctional and self-destructive behavior of dishonesty further.

NOTE:  I also am not talking about the individual who cheats on their significant other in order to cheat on them....I am talking about the individual who for no apparent reason can spontaneously make up u untruths and seems unable to stop this behavior. 

So how do you think about the lying behavior now?

Just Sayin' - shame might be a landmine indeed.