One of the things you have to get a hold of if your daughter has an eating disorder, is her thoughts are not really her own. There is something that happens in a girls mind when she starts eating less and the level of nutrition decreases. She starts hearing and believing more and more lies.
My experience is the less a girl eats, the more her thought patterns change and what is happening inside of her almost takes on a mind of its own. That is why you often hear the eating disorder referred to as ED or ana or mia; because it becomes an identity unto itself. To those who do not understand eating disorders, it sounds crazy and ridiculous. My experience says, however, that it is all too real.
Since you want to help your daughter, you have to stop thinking, "Why doesn't she just eat? It's only food. Why is it so difficult?" Instead you need to tell yourself, "My daughter is ill right now, she is not seeing things accurately. She is mainly seeing the world through the eyes of an eating disorder."
Here is what the eating disorder is telling her almost every waking moment of the day.
1) You can't eat that, you're already a fat pig. You are so disgusting no one wants to look at you.
2) If you eat that you will never stop. Go throw it in the garbage. No one will notice.
3) If you eat that tonight, you have to throw it up; and you can't eat anything tomorrow.
4) Your stomach is too fat. Your thighs are too big. Your arms are huge.
5) You are worthless, ugly and fat.
6) You don't need food. Ignore your hunger. Chew some gum, drink a mountain dew.
7) If you eat that you've sold out. You're just like everyone else; weak and fat.
8) You have to keep exercising; I don't care how much it hurts. Push through it.
9) You can't even be a good anorexic. You can't do anything right.
10) Don't listen to them. They just want you to be fat like them.
These are just a few of the abusive things she hears all day long; and in the quiet of the night when she is trying to sleep. Your daughter doesn't know it, but she is in an abusive relationship. The abuser is not a boyfriend, but an eating disorder.
ED will continue to beat her down and is totally free to do so because he has no competition. He has her complete attention because she is not listening to anyone else, including you. She can't hear anyone else, because ED is too loud and obnoxious.
Most girls cannot fight or ignore him without help. He is too powerful and convincing. Don't wait until she is so emotionally black and blue that you no longer recognize her. Get her help now!
My experience is the less a girl eats, the more her thought patterns change and what is happening inside of her almost takes on a mind of its own. That is why you often hear the eating disorder referred to as ED or ana or mia; because it becomes an identity unto itself. To those who do not understand eating disorders, it sounds crazy and ridiculous. My experience says, however, that it is all too real.
Since you want to help your daughter, you have to stop thinking, "Why doesn't she just eat? It's only food. Why is it so difficult?" Instead you need to tell yourself, "My daughter is ill right now, she is not seeing things accurately. She is mainly seeing the world through the eyes of an eating disorder."
Here is what the eating disorder is telling her almost every waking moment of the day.
1) You can't eat that, you're already a fat pig. You are so disgusting no one wants to look at you.
2) If you eat that you will never stop. Go throw it in the garbage. No one will notice.
3) If you eat that tonight, you have to throw it up; and you can't eat anything tomorrow.
4) Your stomach is too fat. Your thighs are too big. Your arms are huge.
5) You are worthless, ugly and fat.
6) You don't need food. Ignore your hunger. Chew some gum, drink a mountain dew.
7) If you eat that you've sold out. You're just like everyone else; weak and fat.
8) You have to keep exercising; I don't care how much it hurts. Push through it.
9) You can't even be a good anorexic. You can't do anything right.
10) Don't listen to them. They just want you to be fat like them.
These are just a few of the abusive things she hears all day long; and in the quiet of the night when she is trying to sleep. Your daughter doesn't know it, but she is in an abusive relationship. The abuser is not a boyfriend, but an eating disorder.
ED will continue to beat her down and is totally free to do so because he has no competition. He has her complete attention because she is not listening to anyone else, including you. She can't hear anyone else, because ED is too loud and obnoxious.
Most girls cannot fight or ignore him without help. He is too powerful and convincing. Don't wait until she is so emotionally black and blue that you no longer recognize her. Get her help now!
Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?
If so, download my free e-book "Eating Disorder Basics for Parents" here
Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help their adolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will guide you through the treacherous waters of deciding what kind of help you need and what you, the parents need to do and can do to help your child. 
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