My Own Daughter suffered from a phobia of 'Throwing Up'. It was a very difficult situation for her throughout her formative years and continues to today perhaps in a lessoned degree. All I can offer you is empathy if you are dealing with a child suffering from a phobia. The adivice I can offer seems simplistic but can be very difficult. Please never dismiss her fears (at least in front of the child), and keep a calm and calming demeanor at all times when dealing with these fears. Getting upset or flustered yourself only makes the phobia worse on the child and ultimately yourself! On the light side I really never had to worry about my daughter becoming bulimic for sure! Unfortunately, the exposure therapy didn't really work - how often does one really throw up during a life-time? So that was not an option for me to work on with her. I feared for her when she became pregnant however she lucked out and didn't have morning sickness. However I really thought that might be my chance to help her through exposure therapy normalizing throwing up a bit! After all who likes having the flu or throwing up anyway?
Have patience with yourself and your child. Speak calmly when dealing with the phobia. Never dismiss her concerns but try and minimize the fears through normalization. Be there to calm and support - now at 30 she generally just needs to hear my voice and her fears begin to subside. I hope this information is helpful.
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"Come on, Marisa!" all of the fifth graders yelled from inside the big elevators. "Hurry up, don't you want to get to the top?
Marisa looked glum and thought to herself, "Of course I want to get to the top — that's why I came on this field trip." But when she glanced back at her friends, she felt jealous — how come none of them were terrified of riding in the elevator?
"I'm OK," she said as brightly as she could. "I'll take the stairs and meet you there." When she realized how many stairs that would be, Marisa wasn't too happy. But she breathed a sigh of relief knowing that she wouldn't have to take that scary elevator ride.
What's a Phobia?
A phobia (say: fo-bee-uh) is the fancy name for a fear. But a phobia isn't just any kind of fear. It's normal for kids to be afraidof things — like taking a hard test at school, passing a growling dog on the street, or hearing a huge clap of thunder.
A phobia is different because it is an extremely strong fear of a situation or thing. It is also a kind of fear that doesn't go away. Kids who have a phobia will be afraid of something every time they see or experience it. They won't just be afraid once or twice. Kids who have phobias often go out of their way to avoid the situation or thing that scares them.
That's why Marisa had to take the stairs. She has a phobia of being in closed-in spaces and was too scared to take the elevator. Sometimes, when forced to face what's scary, a kid with a phobia might get very nervous and have a panic attack.
What's a Panic Attack Like?
Panic attacks can be really scary and may make someone shake, sweat, and breathe quickly. Some people who have panic attacks might have chest pains, feel dizzy, or feel like their hearts are pounding and they can't breathe.
A panic attack can cause a kid to think something awful is going to happen, that he or she can't escape or might lose control. Some kids who have panic attacks say that when the attacks are happening, they feel like they can't think straight or that they're "going crazy."
Panic attacks only last a short time. But to somebody who is having one, they can feel much longer. Sometimes, even a kid who knows that the phobia doesn't make sense may not be able to stop the mind and body from reacting and having a panic attack.
Different Kinds of Phobias
There are many different kinds of phobias. The most common kind is a social phobia, which can make someone feel scared of being embarrassed in front of other people.
A kid with a social phobia might feel scared of talking to a teacher or a coach or might be afraid of walking in front of the whole classroom when he or she needs to go to the restroom.
A social phobia can make it nearly impossible for a kid to stand up and give a book report or even enjoy a birthday party. Although most kids might be a little afraid of giving a book report to a big group of kids or talking to a teacher, kids with a social phobia become so afraid that they can't fully enjoy life or function the way other kids do.
Sometimes people may think that a kid with a social phobia is justshy, but it isn't the same thing. A kid with a social phobia may want to go out and have lots of friends, but just can't control the fear of being with others.
Agoraphobia (say: ah-guh-ruh-fo-bee-uh) is another kind of phobia. This causes someone to worry about having a panic attack in a place where leaving would be hard or embarrassing. The fear of the panic is so strong that they often avoid places (like crowds, highways, or a busy store) where they might have a panic attack.
Marisa's fear of riding in the elevator was caused byclaustrophobia (say: klos-truh-fo-bee-uh). Claustrophobia is the fear of being in an enclosed space, like an elevator, a tunnel, or an airplane.
There are almost as many phobias as there are things and situations: arachnophobia (say: uh-rak-nuh-fo-bee-uh) is a fear of spiders, whereas ablutophobia (say: uh-bloo-tuh-fo-bee-uh) is a fear of washing yourself or taking a bath or shower.
Why Do Kids Get Phobias?
No one really knows exactly why certain kids get phobias. Some scientists think that a person's genes may have something to do with it, and that a kid who has a social phobia might have a parent with one, too. Sometimes a traumatic thing in a kid's life — like the death of a parent, dealing with a divorce, or a big move — can cause a phobia to start.
Scientists do know some things about phobias, though. They know that about 5 out of 100 people in the United States have one or more phobias. Women are slightly more likely to have phobias than men. Most social phobias start when a person is a teenager, although this and other kinds of phobias can also start when a kid is younger.
How Are Phobias Treated?
Kids who have phobias often start by seeing their doctors. In many cases, the doctor will suggest that the kid visit apsychologist, psychiatrist, or therapist. If a kid is diagnosed with a phobia, one of these specialists can help.
Some kids will take medications that help them better handle their phobias. Sometimes a kid can learn new ways of dealing with the phobia. This could include relaxation exercises that help the kid feel more in control. Part of handling the phobia may be facing it head on.
For instance, part of Marisa's treatment might be riding on an elevator, though she might start slowly by just watching other people get on an elevator or just stepping inside with the doors open.
Depending on the kid and how severe the phobia is, treatment can take weeks, months, or longer. In the meantime, the important thing to remember is that phobias can be treated, and kids can learn to deal with them and feel more in control of their lives.
Everybody worries. Grown-ups do it and kids do it, too. But what should you do about it? Whether your worries are big or small, you can take these 3 steps:
- Try to figure out what you're worried about.
- Think about ways to make the situation better.
- Ask for help.
1. Figure it out.
Sometimes, you will know exactly what you're worried about. Other times, you might not know exactly what's bugging you. Let's say you're worried about a teacher who seems mean. But maybe what's really bothering you is that you're having trouble with math. If you get some help with math, that teacher might seem just fine.
Some problems, like family problems, are big and have a lot of parts. That can make it tough to zero in what the problem is or to pick one part of the problem to try to solve. But being able to focus on your problem — or at least part of it — is the first step to taking action. If you're having trouble figuring out what worries you, skip to Step 3 and get some help from a parent or another person you trust.
2. Think of ways to make it better.
There is almost always something you can do to help you feel less worried. Sitting there worrying is no fun and it probably won't solve your problem. But switching to an action mode can help you feel more hopeful.
Grades at school are often a top worry for kids. If that's your concern, ask yourself these questions:
- Why are grades important? What do they mean to me?
- How do I prepare for class? Do I review my notes even when there isn't a test the next day?
- Do I have a good place to do my homework?
- Have I tried different ways of studying, such as rewriting notes, using flashcards, and working with a study buddy?
If your worry is about a fight you had with a friend, you might write down all the actions you could take — from writing the friend a note to inviting him or her over for a game of basketball. Should you apologize for whatever happened between the two of you? Once you have a list of possible actions, you can select the one you think is most likely to get your friendship back on track.
But what if you can't think of anything to do to make your particular problem better? Then it's time to jump to Step 3 (it's the next step anyway) and ask someone for help.
3. Ask for help.
Worrying can make you feel lonely. When you're worried, it can help to find someone to talk to. Sometimes people say, "Why should I bother? He/she can't do anything about it." But here are two reasons to give it a shot anyway:
- You don't know for sure that no one can help until you share your feelings and let the person try to help.
- Just the act of telling someone what's bothering you can make you feel a little better. Afterward, you are no longer alone with your worries and whomever you told (parent, sister, brother, friend, counselor) is now is thinking about ways to help you.
A Final Word About Worry
Did you know worry is not all bad? If you weren't worried (at least a little) about that test, you might not study for it. And if you weren't worried about getting sunburned, you might not wear your sunscreen.
But some kids worry so much that it keeps them from doing the stuff they need and want to do. If that sounds like you, you know what to do by now: Turn to good old Step 3 and ask someone for help.
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