Starved of Love - Part 2

Human Beings are social creatures by nature.  There have been many studies conducted showing that the absence of touch and nurturing can have profound immediate and long term effects on human infants including the ultimate failure to thrive.  It is also well documented scientifically that bonding between a mother and child is strongly 
recommended following birth to begin the healthy developmental emotional attachment process.   Human babies are helpless fragil beings strongly dependent upon environmental and interpersonal relationships from their first breath forward.  While each is born with different personality traits all have the same primary basic needs.

As infants grow into toddlers it can be observed just how important approval, acceptance and validation are to the developing sense of self for the individual child.  Many have observed how often a child seeks support and encouragement from caregivers just through visual recognition for example.  An obvious example would include how often a child looks to it's caregiver for approval for a new behavior or mastery of a skill.

So now to my points...People who develop ED's almost always  have a sense of being unloved, unloveable, not good enough  etc... and yes those are shamed responses.  But underneath of of these horrible feelings of abandonment, rejection and misery these people feel whether (real or imagined) unvalued as a human being.  In order to cope with these feelings they turn to eating disorders to comfort themselves.  Somewhere in childhood their sense of self was bruised or even destroyed from a possible variety of incidents.  (Bullying is just one example). 

All of this results in the individual drowning in a world of thought process distortions, (cognitive distortions) self-criticism, negative self image and even self-hatred.  Often all lies.  The lies become truths to the individual when they attempt to understand and explain to themselves why people have treated them meanly/abusively/cruelly...Some frankly don't even recall what it is that has occurred to make them feel so worthless and disgusting - they just think/feel it.   

So as a therapist my first question to someone who has these beliefs...What if you are wrong?  There is exactly where the recovery begins.  Because beliefs support thoughts and ultimately behavior!  Just think about what I have presented to you...

More Info - www.addictions.net