We have all had experiences when a person we thought we knew suddenly turned on us with rage. Startled by the attack, we ask ourselves: "What have I done to make this person so angry?" Anger and rage are different. Anger is focused on specific issues. Anger has an end to it and often a justifiable reason. Rage has a different quality and force. Rage comes from deep inside a person. It is rooted at the core of the personality. We often observe volcanic rage in the narcissist. The narcissist is an individual who has a severe personality disorder distinguished by a sense of grandiosity, superiority, self-entitlement, manipulation, deceit, and lack of empathy.
The highly successful narcissist appears to be a very confident, self entitled, self assured individual. Often he is socially adept and can be very persuasive. He has a special way of drawing people to him. This is the mask that he (or she) presents so convincingly to the world. Often his audience responds with the praise, adulation and monetary rewards that the narcissist strongly pursues to prove how perfect and powerful he is.
There is a dark underside to the narcissistic personality that shows itself when he is crossed, when people don't meet his unreasonable demands. Beneath the surface of his attractive outer shell, the narcissist is always seething. Narcissistic rage begins in early childhood. One classic theme is that of a parent or parents who focus on creating a perfect child. Rather than allow the child to be his natural spontaneous self, they impose a false self on him. They give him the impression that he is superior to others, that he can do no wrong, that he can treat others without respect, and that there are no consequences to his destructive and cruel behavior. At the base of the narcissistic rage is the unconscious feeling that he was never loved for being himself, but simply for the attributes that his parents saw in him: physical attractiveness, intellectual capacity, athletic prowess, artistic talent. He has been exploited by his parents to make them feel more powerful and worthy.
The unconscious source of narcissistic rage is self loathing. When the narcissist fumes like Vesuvius and smoke becomes explosive flames, the molten lava of his bottomless rage covers everything in its path. There are several ways to protect yourself from narcissistic rage. First, learn to identify the narcissistic personalities in your life. Second, maintain respect for yourself and make the discrimination that you are a separate unique individual from the narcissist (even if you are married to one). Third, be clearly aware that the fulminating narcissist is using a defense mechanism called projection. He cannot contain the horrible way that he feels about himself, so he projects this venom on to others, especially those close to him Always remember, it's not about you. Remain empowered, stay as calm as you can and maintain an emotional distance and psychological grounding in the truth.
The highly successful narcissist appears to be a very confident, self entitled, self assured individual. Often he is socially adept and can be very persuasive. He has a special way of drawing people to him. This is the mask that he (or she) presents so convincingly to the world. Often his audience responds with the praise, adulation and monetary rewards that the narcissist strongly pursues to prove how perfect and powerful he is.
There is a dark underside to the narcissistic personality that shows itself when he is crossed, when people don't meet his unreasonable demands. Beneath the surface of his attractive outer shell, the narcissist is always seething. Narcissistic rage begins in early childhood. One classic theme is that of a parent or parents who focus on creating a perfect child. Rather than allow the child to be his natural spontaneous self, they impose a false self on him. They give him the impression that he is superior to others, that he can do no wrong, that he can treat others without respect, and that there are no consequences to his destructive and cruel behavior. At the base of the narcissistic rage is the unconscious feeling that he was never loved for being himself, but simply for the attributes that his parents saw in him: physical attractiveness, intellectual capacity, athletic prowess, artistic talent. He has been exploited by his parents to make them feel more powerful and worthy.
The unconscious source of narcissistic rage is self loathing. When the narcissist fumes like Vesuvius and smoke becomes explosive flames, the molten lava of his bottomless rage covers everything in its path. There are several ways to protect yourself from narcissistic rage. First, learn to identify the narcissistic personalities in your life. Second, maintain respect for yourself and make the discrimination that you are a separate unique individual from the narcissist (even if you are married to one). Third, be clearly aware that the fulminating narcissist is using a defense mechanism called projection. He cannot contain the horrible way that he feels about himself, so he projects this venom on to others, especially those close to him Always remember, it's not about you. Remain empowered, stay as calm as you can and maintain an emotional distance and psychological grounding in the truth.
Linda Martinez-Lewi holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is a licensed marriage family therapist. She has extensive clinical training in narcissistic and borderline disorders. Dr. Linda Martinez-Lewi is the author of the book "Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life."
A person who gives too much importance to himself, to the extent that he does not think about the feelings and sentiments of other people is said to be a narcissist. People who are narcissists consider themselves to be perfectionists who can never do anything wrong. They are governed by their false ego which requires ample amount of admiration and praise to survive. It is said that narcissists live in a world of their own where they can think only about their problems and issues regarding power, prestige and personal adequacy. This makes them selfish individuals who do not have the ability to understand the problems of people around them. Such people are said to suffer from the problem of narcissistic personality disorder. As their egos are very fragile, a slight disrespect or challenge can lead to the development of narcissistic rage which can cause harm to the person who was the reason for such provocation. Hence, it is important to understand what narcissistic rage is exactly, its symptoms and treatment. More on narcissistic personality disorder causes.
Narcissistic Rage Syndrome
It is believed that narcissism is an attitude which is present in every individual and is actually important to be confident individuals. However, when this feeling of self worth exceeds certain limits, where one cannot see anyone other than oneself, one is said to have narcissistic personality disorder. Anger is a natural reaction that comes to humans when exposed to a provocative situation. However, such anger arises from a rational cause and dies down when one is able to express it. However, narcissistic rage is different from the anger that people usually feel. People who have narcissistic personality disorder need narcissistic supply which includes constant adulation, attention, compliments and subservience. They consider themselves to be perfectionists and want people to fear and respect them, whether they do or do not have any accomplishments of their own. As narcissistic people are dependent on other people to boost their self esteem, any challenge, negative remark or disagreement from other people can be considered to be criticism, rejection and mockery. They take it as a personal assault and lash out at the person who provoked them. This can cause physical as well as psychological harm to the other person. Read more on narcissistic behavior.
Narcissistic Rage Symptoms
The term 'narcissistic rage' was introduced by Heinz Kohut in his book on the 'The Analysis of the Self'. As narcissists believe that they are perfect individuals who know everything and who can never go wrong, the though that somebody is challenging their views or behavior can cause rage in them. This rage can be expressed in two ways. The most obvious way is explosive behavior where the person will lash out at the other person, both verbally as well as physically. Sometimes, too much rage can give rise to murderous thoughts in the narcissistic individuals. The other way of expressing their rage is the passive aggressive behavior where the person will not harm the person physically or mentally, but will punish them by giving silent treatment. However, the rage is not just targeted towards the person who provoked them, but also towards other innocent people. More on personality disorder symptoms.
Narcissistic Rage Treatment
Though it is possible to treat a person who is suffering from narcissistic rage disorder, it cannot be done unless the person realizes that he has some problem. However, having such a thought is actually quite impossible for a narcissistic person who is so self obsessed. But, there are many narcissists who at some point in their lives realize that they have a problem and seek professional help to get rid of it. Unfortunately, this is not true in all cases and in such circumstances, it is important for victims of the narcissistic rage to find help for themselves. Many times, living with a narcissistic individual and being a victim of his constant rage can make them believe that there is something wrong with them. In such cases, it is important for the victim to seek a psychiatrist or psychologist who can help them to realize the problem does not lie with them and aid them to bring back their self respect and confidence. More on personality disorder treatment.
You may like to read more on:
Narcissistic Rage Syndrome
It is believed that narcissism is an attitude which is present in every individual and is actually important to be confident individuals. However, when this feeling of self worth exceeds certain limits, where one cannot see anyone other than oneself, one is said to have narcissistic personality disorder. Anger is a natural reaction that comes to humans when exposed to a provocative situation. However, such anger arises from a rational cause and dies down when one is able to express it. However, narcissistic rage is different from the anger that people usually feel. People who have narcissistic personality disorder need narcissistic supply which includes constant adulation, attention, compliments and subservience. They consider themselves to be perfectionists and want people to fear and respect them, whether they do or do not have any accomplishments of their own. As narcissistic people are dependent on other people to boost their self esteem, any challenge, negative remark or disagreement from other people can be considered to be criticism, rejection and mockery. They take it as a personal assault and lash out at the person who provoked them. This can cause physical as well as psychological harm to the other person. Read more on narcissistic behavior.
Narcissistic Rage Symptoms
The term 'narcissistic rage' was introduced by Heinz Kohut in his book on the 'The Analysis of the Self'. As narcissists believe that they are perfect individuals who know everything and who can never go wrong, the though that somebody is challenging their views or behavior can cause rage in them. This rage can be expressed in two ways. The most obvious way is explosive behavior where the person will lash out at the other person, both verbally as well as physically. Sometimes, too much rage can give rise to murderous thoughts in the narcissistic individuals. The other way of expressing their rage is the passive aggressive behavior where the person will not harm the person physically or mentally, but will punish them by giving silent treatment. However, the rage is not just targeted towards the person who provoked them, but also towards other innocent people. More on personality disorder symptoms.
Narcissistic Rage Treatment
Though it is possible to treat a person who is suffering from narcissistic rage disorder, it cannot be done unless the person realizes that he has some problem. However, having such a thought is actually quite impossible for a narcissistic person who is so self obsessed. But, there are many narcissists who at some point in their lives realize that they have a problem and seek professional help to get rid of it. Unfortunately, this is not true in all cases and in such circumstances, it is important for victims of the narcissistic rage to find help for themselves. Many times, living with a narcissistic individual and being a victim of his constant rage can make them believe that there is something wrong with them. In such cases, it is important for the victim to seek a psychiatrist or psychologist who can help them to realize the problem does not lie with them and aid them to bring back their self respect and confidence. More on personality disorder treatment.
You may like to read more on:
- Narcissistic Mother
- Narcissistic Husband
- Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder
I do hope that this article has helped you to understand what exactly is narcissistic rage. As I said earlier, treatment can be effective only if the narcissistic individual understands that there is something wrong with him and wants to change his attitude and behavior towards others. However, if your partner has not shown even a small inkling of realization or the want to change, then, it would be better to end the relationship and move on in life as it would be the best you can do to protect your sanity from the unreasonable wrath of your partner.
By Deepa Kartha
Published: 5/20/2010
By Deepa Kartha
Published: 5/20/2010
No comments:
Post a Comment